Red's Wrap
Happiness. It's relative.
Category: Humor
Other Things Can Fall in the Forest Besides Trees
I have doubts about my ability to pee in the forest. This from a person who was once able to carry a bag of groceries in one arm, a baby in the other, and squat down to pick up dropped house keys. Peeing in… Continue Reading “Other Things Can Fall in the Forest Besides Trees”
The History of Hair in Three Parts
I texted Branson to reschedule my appointment. There had been an ice storm which seemed a good enough reason to cancel, but the truth was I didn’t feel like getting my hair cut. It could wait a few days so I asked if he… Continue Reading “The History of Hair in Three Parts”
Tick Tock in the City
There was a tick on my neck and so, now, I can think of little else. Before I felt something on my neck and picked the tick off and looked at it wiggling its tiny legs in a desperate attempt to free itself and… Continue Reading “Tick Tock in the City”
Swirl’s Chewed Things: Assortment
Hello. I am Swirl. Yesterday, I chewed an oven mitt, a basting brush, and the attachment to the pet hair hand vac. They were all left in my area. I am not at fault. Random objects are disturbing. And it was very hot. I… Continue Reading “Swirl’s Chewed Things: Assortment”
Swirl’s Chewed Things: Sports Equipment
Hello. I am Swirl. The people complain about gas, which I have sometimes when I am sleeping. I don’t apologize for this. Or anything else. Tonight we went to a house with another dog. That made three of us. A young girl dog that… Continue Reading “Swirl’s Chewed Things: Sports Equipment”
Fashion Plate
I want people to regard me as a person of substance but it’s hard when I fall for ordering a dress for ‘older women’ advertised on Facebook. It finally got delivered today after weeks of anticipation. It came in a tiny lump in a… Continue Reading “Fashion Plate”
Swirl’s Chewed Things: Plumbing
Hello. I am Swirl. I used to be a working dog. But now I am a laying down dog. Except at the dog park where I run a lot like the old days except by myself. There are other dogs but they just run… Continue Reading “Swirl’s Chewed Things: Plumbing”
Tapped
“I think I know what happened,” I said, wringing out the dish towel for the fifth time. “What?” My husband was on his knees with his head inside the refrigerator, soaking up pools of what looked like water on each shelf, not yet tackling… Continue Reading “Tapped”
Shortcomings
A couple in northern Wisconsin won the $316.3 million Powerball. They decided to take a cash payout of $153.9 million instead of getting their riches doled out a few million at a time. They’re older. I get their point. “Why didn’t we win the… Continue Reading “Shortcomings”
Swirl’s Chewed Things: Animals
Hello. I am Swirl. There is an animal here. I poked open the door and there it was on the chair looking at me. Staring at me. Like it lives here. Where have they been keeping this animal? I don’t understand. It eats little… Continue Reading “Swirl’s Chewed Things: Animals”
Snow Door | wisconsinacademy.org
Listen to Jan read her essay “Billy” presented on WUWM’s Lake Effect
Jan’s essay “At the Breakfast Bar” on WUWM Lake Effect
Jan’s essay “The Parish Hall,” on WUWM Lake Effect
“Fury Cannot Touch Me,” Modern Love, NYT, 9/29/11
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