Red's Wrap
Happiness. It's relative.
Category: Humor
The Evil Ben and Tinsel Lies I Didn’t Tell
I’d like to talk about my shoulder. It has become a character in my little life story. Like the pet chameleons my dad used to sell in our Ben Franklin store that came with a tiny collar and a leash that you could pin… Continue Reading “The Evil Ben and Tinsel Lies I Didn’t Tell”
Get a New Pan, Jan, Just Get Yourself Free
I set out to make chicken vegetable soup for my friend. I made beef barley for her last week which was exceptional. Beef barley is really the king of soups, if you ask me. Soup making is like art, I say to myself. What… Continue Reading “Get a New Pan, Jan, Just Get Yourself Free”
Throwing Off the Yoke of PWE
I did the unthinkable. I hired a cleaning service. They were here for hours and looked exhausted when they left. So, I’ve resisted this for years. There was a series of little wars in my head between the ever-dominant Protestant Work Ethic and the… Continue Reading “Throwing Off the Yoke of PWE”
Swirl’s Chewed Things: Kisses
Hello. I am Swirl’s mom. Swirl asked me to tell you that his last chewed thing was a Hersey’s chocolate kiss. He had three of them, one right after another, white chocolate with dark chocolate stripes. He chewed each and then licked his lips.… Continue Reading “Swirl’s Chewed Things: Kisses”
Swirl’s Chewed Things: Oligarchy
Hello. I am Swirl. I ate part of the truck registration. It was meant to send a message. I could have eaten all of it but then they would think the paper got lost. They have all the things that need papers. Down with… Continue Reading “Swirl’s Chewed Things: Oligarchy”
Driving Home by the Old Landmarks
“There’s your old favorite liquor store,” my husband said while we sat at the four-way stop near the upper flat I lived in before we were married forty years ago. “It was within walking distance. That was a big plus.” “I bet.” He’s ribbed… Continue Reading “Driving Home by the Old Landmarks”
The History of Hair in Three Parts
I texted Branson to reschedule my appointment. There had been an ice storm which seemed a good enough reason to cancel, but the truth was I didn’t feel like getting my hair cut. It could wait a few days so I asked if he… Continue Reading “The History of Hair in Three Parts”
Swirl’s Chewed Things: Naming Loaf
Hello. I am Swirl. I am so fine that they named a bread after me. I’m flattered. Truly. Still, I’d rather be called King. My litter mates were Challah, Pump, and Rye. They were named after breads, not the other way around like me.… Continue Reading “Swirl’s Chewed Things: Naming Loaf”
You Don’t Need Gravy if You Have Butter
I could live for a very long time on potatoes and butter. To me, potatoes constitute their own food group. This was true growing up when I’d call my mom at work to ask what to make for dinner and she would always respond,… Continue Reading “You Don’t Need Gravy if You Have Butter”
Swirl’s Chewed Things: Reports of His Demise
Hello. I am Swirl. I am not sad or woebegone. I am fine. My head is quite dented, I will admit. If people still carried pennies around, they could put them in my dents. Then whenever they ran into a gumball machine and I… Continue Reading “Swirl’s Chewed Things: Reports of His Demise”
Snow Door | wisconsinacademy.org
Listen to Jan read her essay “Billy” presented on WUWM’s Lake Effect
Jan’s essay “At the Breakfast Bar” on WUWM Lake Effect
Jan’s essay “The Parish Hall,” on WUWM Lake Effect
“Fury Cannot Touch Me,” Modern Love, NYT, 9/29/11
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