I have doubts about my ability to pee in the forest.
This from a person who was once able to carry a bag of groceries in one arm, a baby in the other, and squat down to pick up dropped house keys.
Peeing in the forest requires squatting. Moreover, it requires standing up after squatting. These have become physical actions that, for me, require great planning, concentration, and will (mind over matter) to accomplish. There is also risk involved.
Not squatting quite enough is one. (I’ll let you sort that out.) Squatting adequately but having nothing to grab to support the lift to a standing position. And last, falling over.
How is this relevant to anything? Well, when one is camping, one often doesn’t want to walk a couple hundred yards in the dark to the pit toilet. It is creepy even with a flashlight, perhaps more so than just stumbling in the dark and then there’s the matter of where to put the light while in the pit toilet. It’s all dreadful. Hence, the attractiveness of peeing in the forest, even though that has its own nightmarish possibilities.
The squatting challenge is also relevant to my participation in a fundraiser for a homeless outreach group I work with. Every year we do a 48-Hour Challenge in which we live outside on the streets (and forests) of Milwaukee for a weekend. There are plenty of gas stations and public restrooms but the most available place to pee, especially at night, is, yes, the forest. And I’m fine with that. I can be kind of a rough, old sweatshirt from Goodwill kind of gal. I’m not dainty or fussy. I know how to keep a wad of toilet paper in my jeans pocket.
But I’m not 100% sure that if I squat in the forest to pee that I will be able to stand up afterward and then what?
I’ll be like the lady in the TV ads lying on the floor sobbing “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!” Would people come then with a stretcher and oxygen? And would someone pull my zipper up? Good lord. I shouldn’t have to think of these things after all I’ve been through.
I’d like to think that this squatting issue is temporary, that my left knee will heal up, and soon I’ll be out there again squatting and peeing with the best of them. That’s my hope anyway. My goal.