Q and A with an Emerging Iconoclast

Q:  I hear you’re changing your life.

A:  Yeah. My plan is to become an iconoclast.

Q:  How does one go about that? Are there steps to becoming iconic? Are you taking a class?

A:  I’m taking a tai chi class but there are a dozen of us. It’s hard to stand out there.

Q:  So from whence will your iconoclasm spring?

A:  From yonder field of blooming lavender. What’s with the whence?

Q:  I’m just curious what it is you think will make you so special.

A:  I’m working on being extremely bad ass. For an older woman. I aspire to be a bad ass older woman, well, a 70-year-old woman which is what I’ll be in a few months. Unbelievable as it is. I mean. Look at me.

Q:  Yeah. You look okay.

A:  Okay? That’s fine. Don’t assume just because I am on the cusp of old age that I would take your limp praise personally or that I would feel that somehow my appearance has been found wanting. I understand the strategy of being measured in your observations. Not going native with the interviewee and all. I get it. We’re cool.

Q:  That’s good. Let’s talk a little more about your plans to become iconic. Beyond your looks, which I admit, could certainly be worse, probably much worse. Although you have a good share of wrinkles. I bet you washed your face with soap.

A:  Oh my God! Who told you that? Was it that awful eyebrow lady at the salon?

Q:  If you don’t mind my saying so, by the time you’re 70, wrinkles are kind of part of the scene, you know? It’s game over on the wrinkle front. You should probably be worried more about things like cataracts and incontinence. More age appropriate.

A:  Fuck you.

Q:  You don’t have to get profane.

A:  It’s part of being bad ass. I kind of have to say that. But I actually mean it so it’s not an act. Not entirely anyway. Somewhat.

Q:  I don’t think equivocation is a bad ass kind of thing. Just say what you think.

A:  Okay.

Q:  So what do you think?

A:  I don’t know.

Q:  You can’t be bad ass and just be a blob in a flowered housecoat.

A:  I’m wearing leggings with a nice top and a long sweater. I look nice.

Q:  You look nice. That’s nice. Really nice. Just like all the other gals at bingo.

A:  Fuck you.

___________________

Originally published in 2017. As my grandmother always said, “The more things change, the more they stay the same.” Ha!