Herc Thinks I’m Perfect, So There

Some guy on the internet today told me to “iron my face.” This was in response to my appreciating something my Congresswoman said on Facebook.

I thought, well, this is unique. Typically, when a troll comes after me, it’s to insult my intelligence, call me a crazy lefty, stuff like that. Being told to “iron my face” is new and weird. And so, I tracked down the guy’s Facebook page to discover that he has a grand total of eleven friends. This means that he is probably somebody else most of the time but becomes the person who suggested I “iron my face” only now and then.

Then I thought to myself – has this guy actually seen my face? If he had, the comment would clearly carry quite a sting. Or does he say this to everybody whose comments he doesn’t like? Either way, it’s an oddly specific and harsh thing to say. Maybe somebody said it to him. Maybe it’s a super popular insult – maybe there are hats with this phrase stitched on them. Who knows? I don’t know.

Maybe in real life, the guy with eleven friends is a doctor or the pastor of a church that does free meals for people every Wednesday night. Maybe he’s like a local elected official who seems perfectly reasonable most of the time but then goes off in weird, misogynistic, and racist rants every now and then, and then when I call him on it, asks if we could just “agree to disagree.” No.

I don’t let things pass. But I also never insult people.

In other news, I took my face that needs ironing to a meeting where I sat next to a U.S. Senator for an hour so I’m still flying pretty high from that. I had a job to do, and I did it pretty well. That makes me proud of my creased and crevassed self. You couldn’t pay me to iron this old roadmap. Herc thinks I’m perfect, so there.