Hunkering Down for a Second Wind

We went to dinner with friends last night. I wore an enormous sweater, a sweater that could be a blanket in different times. My husband who usually says something nice when I ‘dress up’ was silent about the giant sweater. I took this to mean something but didn’t dwell on it. I wanted to live in my sweater forever.

It’s been a week of patting myself on the head and telling myself everything will be fine. I didn’t go to even one of the five anti-ICE demonstrations on Tuesday. I’m bailing on going to a big debate tonight – all gazillion of the folks running for the Democratic nomination for Wisconsin governor in one place, anyone who’s anyone will be there. I’m going to watch it on YouTube (although it occurs to me that I could wear my massive sweater if I went).

Right now, I am watching video of ICE agents throwing canisters of some kind of chemical gas at Minnesotans who are yelling at them. This, of course, comes after a federal judge issued an order saying they couldn’t do such things. I have to have some armor about these things, or I will lose my mind. The sweater isn’t enough.

A picture of a four-year-old in a bunny hat pops up. He is being used as ‘bait’ by ICE hoping to nab his father. A man is pulled out of a car by ICE, and the car is left with its doors open in the middle of the street. And, of course, the man hauled out of his house, in subzero weather, wearing only boxer shorts and Crocs, a blanket thrown over his shoulders is an image that may stick with me for years. All of these hideous events unsuccessfully papering over the murder of Renee Good which, if I think about it for more than five seconds, will bring me to tears.

So, the cocooning. It’s temporary. Gladly, the weather is such that not showing up seems reasonable, wise, especially for, you know, an older person. All the well-meaning health department folks are telling us all to stay inside, especially seniors and other vulnerable people. I would fall into both categories at the moment, but I’m going to get my act together pretty soon.

Put my giant sweater on and get back out there.

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Photo by Spring Fed Images on Unsplash