Back Porch Barbie: Entry #3

Back Porch Barbie is mightily irked.

Some foul creature has been nibbling on the plant I have been trying to bring back from the dead. (So apropos.)

It’s obvious that the foul creature is one of the squirrels that have made our backyard their conquered land. I’d know those teeth marks anywhere.

I read somewhere that squirrels hate peppermint. So I went to the famous Outpost Co-op to buy peppermint oil which I found almost right away although I’ve only been in the store once before despite my progressive politics. I then dotted the porch with peppermint oil, some I dabbed on cotton balls, some I dripped on the fence posts. It seemed to have been working until this morning where it became obvious that the squirrels had adaptive capabilities I lack. They outflanked me. It’s happened before.

Back Porch Barbie is thinking about changing her whole persona. She wants khaki pants and a matching shirt with a tiny insignia saying something like Porch Patrol or Squirrel Fighter. She’s done with the clunky earrings and the three-inch heels. And the hair.

She’s searching for meaning. Purpose.

Who could blame her?

We are sympatico, me and BPB.