Introspection is So Fun

I am upstanding and I also pick up litter.

I am also capable of exercising a fair amount of mind over matter, the recent incident holding up the bookcase with my bare hands a case in point. This mind over matter gambit is easier when one has no actual choice although there was a moment where I thought I could let go of the bookcase and then run across the room, like I was in a Roadrunner cartoon. Beep. Beep.

Friends have made fun of my being extremely rule-compliant. This is because they expect me to be the opposite. I like rules and process and decorum. Predictability.

Control.

I don’t like chaos. Like nine people showing up for dinner when the table is set for eight. I jest. Somewhat.

My mother used to describe certain people (never me) as ‘being wound tighter than a cheap watch.” She said this being pretty tightly wound herself, so much so that she often needed to retire from space and time and lie on the couch, facing the wall, to reorder and reorganize herself. I think of that now, can picture her on the couch with the orange and green slipcover, and I wonder how frantic and far flung her worries must have been. How out of control everything must have seemed.

I’m not like that. Thank God.

I’m just over here being upstanding and picking up litter.

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Photo by Brian Yurasits on Unsplash