Needle and Thread

When you leave something – a job, a group, an organization – it’s often surprising how quickly the space you left behind gets stitched up. Very soon, the stitches themselves get worn flat and no one can really tell, unless they get real up close with a magnifying glass, that you had ever been there much less left.

This has happened to me. But it’s also happened to many people I know.

It’s almost funny.

The ‘thing’ that you loved and thought about and spent all your time on gets over you real fast. And, just like that, you’re pretty much erased.

That’s how it should be. A organization or group can’t hold your space vacant like dead Uncle Harry’s chair at Thanksgiving dinner. Somebody else waiting on the front porch should be invited in to sit down.

Still, it’s weird. We all want there to be some wee period of mourning when we quit something, a little gnashing of teeth and wringing of hands. How will we ever do without you?

No one is indispensable. That was a favorite line of a mentor of mine. It was never clear what inspiration he intended to provide with this bit of wisdom but I took it to heart. It’s kept me from over-fretting when someone I like leaves a group I’m in but it still gives off an unfortunate air of interchangeability. Like you’re not dead Uncle Harry but you’ll have to do.

I write this for those who mistakenly think they have been uniquely forgotten. Don’t feel bad, it happens to everyone. It’s just the unpleasant underbelly of the adage “Life goes on.”

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Photo by SUNBEAM PHOTOGRAPHY on Unsplash