Red's Wrap
Happiness. It's relative.
Circumstance
It occurred to me, driving across town and then up along Lake Michigan where there were short whitecaps on very blue water, that I might possibly be happy.
Are you happy without reservation? I searched that thought, flipping through my inventory of dissatisfaction and worry but it was if someone had upended each file folder and shaken its contents over the Grand Canyon. Whatever had been there was now laying thousands of feet below waiting for a rain to come.
Someone complimented my hair tonight. She, who complimented, had a beautiful, closely-shorn head. “We short hair lovers need to stick together.” Everyone has so much hair, I wonder how they stand it.
I ran into an old friend at an event and he kissed me hard on the cheek like I had just come from the old country; he seemed to be awash in gladness to see me. He told me that we need to let the younger generation be in charge. I agreed but only partly. I’m not about to defer when I’m just coming into my own.
My granddaughter and her friend bought plaid man shirts and white baseball caps for twin day at school while I shopped for dangling earrings, fundamental to my new look, which is the same look to many but not to me. We split up at the department store so as not to aggravate each other and it worked.
I spoke briefly at an Interfaith luncheon today, starting by saying, “I’m Jan Wilberg and I’m all about tampons, pads, and underwear” and it felt as delicious as chocolate pudding with whipped cream. The kind people there laughed and applauded and gave me a lot of supplies for homeless women.
While I was looking at earrings and envisioning my new look, I dipped down to check myself in the mirror, straightening my hair just a bit, you know how you do, when there’s a mirror, you check yourself? A black woman walked by, saying over her shoulder, “You look alright.” But she said it with such a lilt and a smile that I laughed out loud and then her mother who was following in a walker laughed and we each took turns spinning the earring displays and laughing about looking alright until I finally left to go look at shoes on clearance. Even then, I was laughing.
So it could be true. I might possibly be happy.
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Snow Door | wisconsinacademy.org
Listen to Jan read her essay “Billy” presented on WUWM’s Lake Effect
Jan’s essay “At the Breakfast Bar” on WUWM Lake Effect
Jan’s essay “The Parish Hall,” on WUWM Lake Effect
“Fury Cannot Touch Me,” Modern Love, NYT, 9/29/11
You help me find happiness.
I think it’s actually the other way around. 🙂
Nope. You inspire me and push me to be better.
Love this. Good for you!
Thank you!
At a storytelling session with my friends at St. Ann Center for Intergenerational Care today, a man told me that the number one reason that people are happy is because they want to be. Amen.
I do think there’s some choice involved. I also think that age brings the gift of not caring about a lot of things that used to drive me crazy. So here’s to getting older!
Hooray for happiness! I often find myself smiling–even laughing in the midst of seeming disasters…the after-effects of being a clown for 30 years…
It is so very very very nice to be happy. Enjoy it often in the days to come.
Maybe it is what we have that can best help our corner of the world.
Lovely, Jan! You seem to be the embodiment of the research showing that happiness is the byproduct of a compassionate, purpose-filled life. Thanks for sharing. (Great earrings!).
Thank you – It is really fun doing the work (unpaid) that I am doing now. Very energizing!
i am so happy you are happy. those moments of happiness self-realization are what keep us going )
Yes!
Good. You deserve it.