Dear Woman Married to a Man Who Likes Donald Trump Because He Speaks His Mind

There are nice words for it. Some say Donald Trump’s message resonates with working class white men. Some say Donald Trump is speaking to that group’s economic woes, giving voice to their frustration, shining a light on a neglected demographic – white men who get no respect.

To posit that Trump supporters are acting out of their economic interests is ridiculous. If they were, they’d be advocating for raising the minimum wage and reducing barriers to education and training. But that’s not their deal. Their deal is road rage.

A few weeks ago, on our narrow residential street, I slowed to let an oncoming car through but I didn’t do it fast enough. He sped up, jammed on the brakes when he came up next to me, rolled down his window and yelled at me. I had bothered him, disrespected him, didn’t defer quick enough, got in the way, cost him valuable time, so he felt justified yelling at me. Heaven forbid I’d cut him off in a lane change. I’d probably be dead now.

So this grossly disproportionate reaction to my momentary hesitation in ceding the road to this man came from where? And why does he think it’s okay to get so mad and so rude to a woman driving a car that happened to ‘get in his way?’

Because anger is his thing. It’s his man evidence. He’s not going to let some ‘lesser-than’ like me disrespect him. He’s not going to allow my hesitation to stand because it shows that I was debating whether to let him go first and I shouldn’t have had to debate the question. Of course, he should go first. He’s the man, after all.

Women whose men like Donald Trump because he speaks his mind need to be careful. Because it’s not possible to endorse Donald Trump without endorsing his fundamental philosophy. Women are inferior.

There is no way to pretty it up or explain it away. No amount of apology will work. Donald Trump’s extraordinary sexism is in a class so extreme that a word has yet to be developed to describe it properly.  So when your man smiles at the TV and says, “Yeah, that guy is really saying what needs to be said,” you need to start considering your life options because where you are is not safe for children or other living creatures. There is a very short hop between disdain for women and their abuse. Sorry, but it’s true.

So what do you do if you’re a woman married to a man who likes Donald Trump because he speaks his mind (and by this, I mean both Donald Trump’s and your husband’s)?

After you’re done being careful, you decide to get honest with yourself. It’s not okay that your partner agrees with a guy who seems to think all women are cunts. It’s not funny or cute, nor is it something to tolerate in light of the ‘bigger message,’ as if there actually is one. It’s not a side issue because trade with China or building a wall and making Mexico pay for it are bigger issues. Oh, gee, it’s okay that Trump hates women as long as he’ll make a better ‘deal’ with China. Don’t buy that junk. It’s crazy. If you do, you’re the idiot Trump thinks you are. Sorry. Truth.

So if your man is headed to the polls to pull the lever for Donald Trump. Follow him. And vote for anyone else. X out his vote. Cancel him and his misogynist vote. You never have to say a word about it. Just stay alert, have a bag packed and keep one eye on the door.