Red's Wrap
Happiness. It's relative.
Tag: Humor
Dressed Down
I bought a dress online, a long black summer dress that I thought would make me look earthy and graceful. Dresses are foreign to me but I keep trying, like all the years I kept going back to Spanish classes thinking this next time… Continue Reading “Dressed Down”
New Girl Aboard
Two nights ago I had a dream about being on a ship that was sinking. I was in the ship’s movie theater, sitting in a velvet seat, watching I don’t remember what, and the ship’s sirens went off (I’ve never heard a ship’s sirens… Continue Reading “New Girl Aboard”
Mane Event
Somehow, during the commercial break, a good-sized chunk of mascara fell from the guest commentator’s eyelashes and landed on her upper cheek. It wasn’t enormous but it was noticeable, about the size of dwarf Tic-Tac. The interviewer pretended not to notice, looking straight into… Continue Reading “Mane Event”
Minnie and BowWow Discuss Ennui
BowWow: Tell the lady that I’m bored out of my fucking gourd. Minnie: You tell her. I’m busy. BowWow: Busy? You’re laying on the stairs like you’re tripped out on something – you know, like dog grass or LSDog. Get it? LSDog! I never… Continue Reading “Minnie and BowWow Discuss Ennui”
Squeaker
The mouse was in the garbage disposal. That’s right. There was a live mouse in our garbage disposal. I called my husband and then walked out the front door. “I’m leaving. Do you want a pair of gloves? You can’t turn it on. Oh… Continue Reading “Squeaker”
A-34
They were indignant at our mistake. We were sitting in the silver Toyota Camry they thought they had just rented from Hertz at the Phoenix airport. The husband held the paperwork in his hand like the deed to a castle that had been in… Continue Reading “A-34”
The Bumpy Road to Recovery
Why the heck is he waving at me? My husband was sitting in a chair against the wall, holding his puffy parka and a bundle of newspapers that he’d read to pass the time during my 4-hour cochlear implant surgery. He waved again and… Continue Reading “The Bumpy Road to Recovery”
The Curse of C-24
What does it mean to be C-24? If you are flying on Southwest, it means that your place in the boarding order was after all the people with numbers A-1-60, B-1-60 and C-1-23. It also means you are going to be sitting in a… Continue Reading “The Curse of C-24”
Seriously
I need me a big old belly laugh. I need a really good, roaring laugh that goes on for a long time. I need a laugh like my daughter and I used to have in the kitchen when she would say something and I… Continue Reading “Seriously”
My First Three Days as an Au Pair
After a three-day apprenticeship, my twin infant grandsons were left in my care. I would say ‘our care’ but my husband was asleep on the couch for the duration so it seems unnecessarily inclusive and gratuitous to allow much credit to flow his way.… Continue Reading “My First Three Days as an Au Pair”
Snow Door | wisconsinacademy.org
Listen to Jan read her essay “Billy” presented on WUWM’s Lake Effect
Jan’s essay “At the Breakfast Bar” on WUWM Lake Effect
Jan’s essay “The Parish Hall,” on WUWM Lake Effect
“Fury Cannot Touch Me,” Modern Love, NYT, 9/29/11
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