You Are Who You Pretend To Be: Smooth Operator

Daily writing prompt

How would you describe yourself to someone who can’t see you?

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I would say I have clean-shaven legs.

This is probably an unusual thing, but I keep an electric shaver plugged into the base of my office lamp. This is so, at any moment, I can grab the shaver and touch up my legs.

Until about a month ago, I stood on one leg in the shower, soaped up the other leg and shaved with a regular women’s razor. It occurred to me, especially lately, that this was tempting fate in an extreme way. But I thought, hey, I might be 77 but I’ve got some strong legs and then I thought you have strong legs until you don’t and then you’re going to be a wet heap on the shower floor with the EMT’s looking at you in all your glory.

So in a moment of genius, I ordered an electric shaver, and it has been the most delicious, indulgent thing ever. I can shave my legs while talking on the phone because, of course, the shaver is silent, smooth, and wordless.

Is this much of a description? Are you looking for more?

I used to have red hair but now I don’t, but I still act like I do. My skin has a million freckles and dots and marks, a few of which are diagnosed as pre-cancers every year, but the spots all look the same to me. I am middling in weight but believe myself (erroneously) to be thin so that’s how I carry myself. Pretending. You are who you pretend to be. I’m a conservative dresser with tiny points of flair. I strive to be hip, not pretty, and comfortable in my skin, especially as it changes to bear the weight of age. It’s all good.

I also have these remarkably clean-shaven legs and that’s not nothin’.

You’d pick me out of a crowd in seconds.