Another Thing I Don’t Have in Common with Donald Trump’s Family

I’ve bailed people out of jail but I’ve never been in jail myself.

The conversations with the few people I’ve bailed out of jail haven’t been extensive. It’s not an experience you want to pick apart, examine, or appreciate in any way. For one thing, if you’re the person doing the bailing out, you’re plenty irked. You’re disappointed or heartsick or your car was borrowed and got wrapped around a phone pole, so you’re not in the best mood to offer a caring ear about the incarceration experience.

Everything about the bailing out experience makes you feel like a complete lowlife. The tellers or clerks or whatever they’re called sit behind inch thick plexiglass because, well, you know, people bailing out other people are plenty irked and might go off in some dangerous way. And then there’s the waiting, the careful replication of how it is to be arrested and made to sit in the station waiting transport ‘downtown’ but without being handcuffed. The same molded plastic seats bolted together to prevent theft, with rigid arms so one isn’t tempted to lie down and nap.

There are also no snacks unless you go down the hall and then only cheddar crackers with peanut butter. Also, if you go for snacks or to the bathroom, you might miss your number being called and have to start over with all the rigamarole. The waiting for someone to be ‘processed’ is interminable, the hope when the side door opens a crack, the crushing disappointment when it’s somebody’s else’s bailee. Take it from me, bailing someone out of jail is no picnic.

So, I’m glad that Donald Trump’s family doesn’t have to go through this hardship. I heard that the prosecution asked for no bail after Trump was found guilty of 34 felonies this afternoon. So they can go straight from the courtroom to Lobster Thermidor and a nice Caesar salad with cracked pepper. Maybe a creme brulee for dessert.

Just because I’ve had the hassle of bailing somebody out of jail doesn’t mean everybody should have to go through it. Like student loans. You know?

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Photo by RAPHAEL MAKSIAN on Unsplash