The Soup

I am making potato leek soup for the first time.

I bought the leeks at a roadside stand because they were beautiful. So were the beets and the poblano peppers and the green and yellow beans. A young man behind the table followed me with his eyes, reaching out with a plastic bag anytime I picked up another vegetable. I wondered how all the vegetables could be perfect, without flaw or blemish. I wanted to ask him. Where are the mistakes?

A very long time ago, a terrible thing happened with a close friend. A helper, I can’t remember who it was but someone skilled in these things, asked me, “what do you need to do right now?” “Make soup and call my mother,” I answered. And I did both of those things. I remember my mother coming on a plane the next day. It was so long ago that the plane had propellers and a stairway that was rolled up to it for passengers to debark. I watched my mother come down those stairs and it was like being embraced in the arms of 10,000 angels.

I don’t remember what kind of soup I made. Beef barley was big for me then. And bean. I probably made bean because my mother would have liked that. She made a lot of bean soup for us. It was cheap and filling and basic. I am very fond of basic things – heavy blankets and thick socks.

I watch CNN’s reports from Israel. I listen on the car radio to a father saying that his eight-year-old daughter’s death was a blessing because the alternative – being kidnapped – would have been so much worse. A fate worse than death. The little girl’s picture is on CNN’s webpage. She has wild curly hair and is standing before a field of flowers. Her father believes her death was a blessing and I have to believe him. He would know best.

The potato leek soup takes five cups of chopped leeks. The leeks are chopped and ready. The potatoes are next. There’s chicken broth and thyme and marjoram, which I don’t think we have. Still, the soup will smell good. Basic. Not like being embraced in the arms of 10,000 angels but a glimmer of that.

We will probably eat the soup while we watch the news.