I have had a lot of gumption lately.
shrewd or spirited initiative and resourcefulness. “she had the gumption to put her foot down and head Dan off from those crazy schemes.”
I haven’t always had a lot of gumption although I’ve often had a lot of bravado. A lot of that was blowing smoke as we used to say, overwhelming people with numbers and letters and pages, the stacks of which protected me from exposure. I have these numbers, therefore, I am.
But lately, for a variety of reasons, I have had to have a lot of gumption and I’ve not come up short.
Why the pats on my own back?
Because getting old is such an exercise in managing deficits. Because getting old means no one expects much from you anymore. Because getting old makes people think you are harmless.
I don’t want to be harmless. I want to be formidable. Not every day, but often enough to remind myself that I am somebody. I am a person of substance. I am someone to be dealt with.
I have gumption. And I’m proud of it.