Red’s Wrap Gets a Fashion Consult

I understand you’re in need of some fashion advice.

Possibly. I seem to be in a bit of a rut, fashion-wise, you know, with the pandemic and all.

Were you fashionable before the pandemic? And then the pandemic got you wearing sweats all the time? That sort of thing? That happened to a lot of people.

Yeah. I was a trendsetter before all this happened. People copied me.

Do I detect a bit of sarcasm there? So funny. It’s rare that I have a funny client.

I ordered a new pair of Levi’s, 271 skinny jeans today because my old ones are so worn they feel like pajamas.

You know, skinny jeans are kind of passe. They can really date you, dear.

Unlike my face, right?

Speaking of your face, you do have a very hip haircut.

Thanks, I have a new hairdresser or stylist or whatever they’re called now. He’s very handsome and put together, clothing and otherwise, and wears a diamond tennis bracelet. I’m very taken with him actually.

It’s a beautiful haircut.

Yes, he cut each hair individually. It was mesmerizing. It might be too short in back though, my head seems flat like I’ve been laying down too long.

That’s an interesting observation.

I didn’t know until I used my hand mirror to look at the back. I’ve kind of decided not to look again and just look at my face. Who gives a shit what the back of my head looks like anyway? People who follow me. Nobody follows me. Everybody I know is in front of me.

Okay. So how can I help you?

Years ago I went through a long phase when I would only wear solid colors, no flowers, stripes, patterns, nothing, just solid colors.

Okay. And how did that go for you?

It went alright and then I started to think it was wacko to eschew prints so I bought a bunch of print tops but I hate them. Now I just want to wear primary colors all the time.

So you’re back to solid colors and no pastels. What does that leave? Blue, red, and yellow.

And black. Black is a primary color. They just don’t say so. It’s assumed.

Well, I like that black hoodie you’re wearing. What are those cute little pink dots? So subtle. So clever!

I think it got washed with a red shirt. I don’t know. It was a long time ago.

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