Red's Wrap
Happiness. It's relative.
Inside Out
Use the side door, out of sight
Ring the buzzer just once
Imagine hot bowls, padded chairs
Hunger for the light, all the light
Shuffle quarters in your pocket, the dime
Nonchalant, used to waiting your turn
Someone will come, don’t ring twice
Twist there in the wind
Hunkered, shrunken to a kernel
Feel the cold warp your legs
Break your own heart again
Damaged, locked out, frozen
Head to the dark way you came
Reach back for the warm hand
___________________
Photo by Pigoff PhotographY on Unsplash
13 Comments on “Inside Out”
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Snow Door | wisconsinacademy.org
Listen to Jan read her essay “Billy” presented on WUWM’s Lake Effect
Jan’s essay “At the Breakfast Bar” on WUWM Lake Effect
Jan’s essay “The Parish Hall,” on WUWM Lake Effect
“Fury Cannot Touch Me,” Modern Love, NYT, 9/29/11
I liked the use of the second person and how the build up was cold and dreary but in the end, the warm hand was a relief.
Great imagery here. I particularly like “shrunken to a kernel.”
This made me so cold and alone until that final line, when that feeling gave way to warmth at the thought of not being so alone after all. Lovely poem, Jan! <3
Somehow this was very Dickensian and completely current at the same time — very cool!
Second person really drew me in and it’s been so cold here, that getting locked out would be my nightmare. Thank goodness for the warm hand.
So glad there was a warm hand, or the potential for a warm hand, at the end. Not including it would have made this poem seem cruel. To only have a door in the way of keeping you from comfort.
Left a comment just as my internet crashed – apologies if it shows twice….
I love the photo that you paired here. The warm, tantalizing glow through the window makes the poem’s action far more starkly felt. lovely.
Cyn’s comment was spot on. I also appreciate how stacking terse lines upon each other hints at the passage of time, the sense of waiting.
I’m a big fan of the way people are using second person/imperative sentences this week in both fiction and nonfiction. I think your use of it here draws people in to imagine what it is like to be locked out in the cold.
I really like the ambiguity of the narrator. You imagery is so vivid, and evocative.
I wanted someone to let her in!
This was so sad 🙁 I could picture this guy, alone at Christmastime. I hope he grabbed onto a warm hand.
I think it speaks to my state of mind that I thought the opposite: He probably had it coming. Either way, Jan, this made me feel something and for that I say thank you and keep up the good work.