Red's Wrap
Happiness. It's relative.
Seven Women
Seven women came looking for news
Stood at the door with their empty bags
The news they had was wrinkled and old
They wanted new cuts, slices of life
No! No! Don’t make news just for us
Don’t go to any trouble, don’t fuss
Just give us what is in your hands
What you feel with your sore fingers
Parcel it out evenly, be fair to us
Fill our bags so we aren’t empty
___________
Photo by Guus Baggermans on Unsplash
4 Comments on “Seven Women”
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Snow Door | wisconsinacademy.org
Listen to Jan read her essay “Billy” presented on WUWM’s Lake Effect
Jan’s essay “At the Breakfast Bar” on WUWM Lake Effect
Jan’s essay “The Parish Hall,” on WUWM Lake Effect
“Fury Cannot Touch Me,” Modern Love, NYT, 9/29/11
I loved this. I think the I liked the POV shift, but maybe a break in stanza might help make the shift seem intentional?
Good advice. Thank you!
I like the imagery of the wrinkled, old news. It surprised me. The wording of your poem had me on their side right away. I wanted to give them what they wanted. The POV shift at the fifth line threw me a little. It made me wonder about the reason for the turn when writing the entire poem from the women’s POV would work well IMO.
I guess I was thinking of them speaking at the fifth line, saying No, No …. to the person answering the door. I was trying to get at the propensity to go looking for the bad news of others. Perhaps it played out clearer in my head than on paper. 🙂 Thanks for point out that it didn’t quite work.