Would You?

I should probably say that writing a post about peeing is beneath me but that would seem cheeky. Anyway, after spending a weekend somewhat marooned in a cabin in the snow without working plumbing, this amazing poem came to me. Tomorrow, I’m going to write something that is deeply moving and extremely eloquent. For now, I leave you with this — my reflections on what truly was the pressing issue of the day.

Would You?

Have you ever wondered
What exactly you would do
If your toilet stopped working
And you couldn’t use the loo?

Things like this can happen
None is safe from the risk
It’s smart to plan ahead
Save your ideas on a disk.

Consider all the options
Think it through and through
Explore many alternatives
For when you can’t use the loo.

Would you pee in the snow
If you really had to go?

Would your pride interfere
With peeing like a deer?

Would you pee standing up
Or in a very small cup?

Would you go with a crowd
Or wear a black shroud?

Would you stop a moving train
Or pee on the endless plain?

Thinking ahead can save you
Having a good plan is key
Nothing in life is worse
Than having no place to pee.