With Her Bare Hands

It was this time of year, on Indian Lake in the U.P., that I realized that my new 7-year old daughter could catch fish with her bare hands. I’d walked down to the dock from the funky little cabin where we were staying to check on Jhosy and her brothers.  A lot of squeals and splashing – so I figured a close-up check-in rather than a shout from atop the hill was in order.  What was going on? 

Lined up on the dock were a dozen small fish in various stages of last breath-taking. “How did you guys get those fish?” I asked.  “Jhosy caught ’em,” boys replied.  Jhosy looked at me like — what’s the big deal?

It was unnerving.  What else did she know how to do?  What had her life in Nicaragua taught her? 

Over the years, I learned that kids growing up in hard situations learn a lot of stuff that, when they land in a ‘normal’ situation, seems strange or inappropriate.  Adopted kids from food-deprived environments will hoard food under their beds for years.  Kids used to sensing and fending off violence in their prior homes or institutions will live life on full alert for a long time, maybe always. Kids used to being the grown-up with younger peers or siblings will have a very hard time becoming a child who can rely on adults.  Understanding this comes the hard way for many adoptive parents who think that adoptive kids’ behavior is just about the here and now, about their adjustment, or their attachment issues.  There’s a lot of past in their pasts.  We can’t ever underestimate that.

Jhosy didn’t need a manual to tell her how to catch a fish with her bare hands, but if you do, see this link.

http://www.ehow.com/how_2054784_catch-fish-bare-hands.html