They’re Fine, All Good

Daily writing prompt

What is one question you hate to be asked? Explain.

View all responses

“How are your kids?” This is always the check-in question with folks I’ve known a long time or, more specifically, folks who knew my kids when they were young.

“Oh, they’re fine. All good,” I always answer and then, if the mood strikes me, I add a few details. Who’s working where, how old their kids are, the last time they visited. But usually, I hit the ball back over the net. But not with a question about kids. I’ll say, “Tell me what’s new with you.”

I have four kids. One is a biological child of mine. The other three were adopted from Nicaragua. Those three, growing up, were always treated as novelties. They were different. They had absorbing stories, lives spent in orphanages, illnesses and deprivations of various kinds. They came to America and became pretty much regular children in a regular family, that is, until we left the house. What we didn’t see anymore, the rest of the world still did. We were fascinating, which was nice in the beginning but began to wear over time.

So, when I run into someone I’ve not seen for a while and they ask, “How are your kids?” I feel like the real question is “Did they turn out alright, you know, considering.” This is me being sensitive because I truly believe people are usually just being kind and interested. It’s not their fault I feel like I should have a checklist of success for each one hidden in the bottom of my purse. There’s more here than just filing a status report. Always, for every parent, adoptive or biological, how your children are doing is evidence of how you did.

So, they’re fine. All good. is my answer always. And it is almost always true.