Red's Wrap
Happiness. It's relative.
Superiority
This is our new neighbor.
She’s having a hard time fitting in. We’ve tried to help her by suggesting that she scale down just a bit and maybe give the barn swallows some space to fly around.
That’s not true. We’ve only had one conversation and it was about property lines and zoning laws. The idea that we would become neighbors who call out to each other on a summer night to come over and help drink the last of the Barefoot box wine never came up. Never mind about loving each other’s dogs.
I wrote about this before and was vacation-home shamed by a reader. Fair enough, I thought. There are a lot worse things than having someone mess with your beach zen. “Why don’t you worry about a real problem, like homelessness?” Valid. Though I do worry about homelessness a fair amount, I could always do more.
The profundity of this giant house being built between two longtime friends is becoming clearer to me. It’s not about the view being wrecked or the general unpleasantness of having a hostile stranger move in. It’s not even about the new neighbor’s edict that our friend across the way can’t cross her property to visit us.
It is the baffling lack of regard for the community, for neighbors, for the environment, the jaw-dropping arrogance, the entitlement, the intimidation of public officials, the bullying. Is it all legal? Yes, at the same time that public officials will acknowledge that it’s a monstrosity. She can so she did. In spades.
This afternoon I walked down our dirt driveway with my husband and our two dogs. The driveway is two little lanes, a country road really, that we never graded and would never pave. Apples from our old trees litter the driveway and we notice they are better apples than last year, fewer spots, prettier. We leave them for the deer. We talk to a man from the township about where a water meter was put in and he is nice and helpful and I tell him I appreciate him coming to meet us. I don’t want him to think I’m difficult. I want to be the opposite of difficult – I want to be reasonable and thoughtful and part of the community. I’ve seen the other and I don’t want to be that.
We will get used to this. The lake is still in front of us. Our birdhouses. The endless sand and rocks. We will forget about the monstrosity if we don’t look at it. Meanwhile, yes, there is plenty more to do for people who are homeless. I’m mindful of that and will do my best.
11 Comments on “Superiority”
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Snow Door | wisconsinacademy.org
Listen to Jan read her essay “Billy” presented on WUWM’s Lake Effect
Jan’s essay “At the Breakfast Bar” on WUWM Lake Effect
Jan’s essay “The Parish Hall,” on WUWM Lake Effect
“Fury Cannot Touch Me,” Modern Love, NYT, 9/29/11
I wish people would consider their carbon footprint. How much do we really need? Can we have a smaller place, use less resources. We can still be happy with a couch or chair and something to put our feet upon while we read or write or watch a TV show. There is a real inequity around who is entitled to have the largest slices of resources. And global warming is at stake. And global warming will make people homeless. So, yes, we should all be concerned.
John Dunne was correct no man is an island. Not today or tomorrow, but down the line they’ll need something. A stinky neighbor in my neck of the woods is just beginning to find it out. Being pissy doesn’t pay in the long run.
it seems to me that she zero regard for anyone else, and I’m guessing she goes through most of her life in that mode
I don’t understand this at all, along with the clearly unabashed privilege she seems to possess. I suppose it’s not acceptable of me to wish that a strong storm will blow in and destroy her monstrosity only, while things all around her go on as always…
Dream destroyers do exist. Why would someone do this to THEMSELVES for all to see.
I have been thinking about that a lot. It’s truly a mystery.
That house looks a little bit like Pizza Hut. Just sayin’.
It does. Room for a lot of pizza ovens in there. Oh, did I mention? There’s a pool.
Yes, it does.
One would think new neighbors were inherently good. I have discovered too that this is not necessarily so. Good luck in finding a balance point the works. It can be very complicated.
Yes. That’s the starting point most of the time and it usually turns out that way. But not this time. Working on keeping my blinders on. 🙂 BTW, ear is coming along slowly but surely.