Ten Astute but Otherwise Useless Observations

• When I wear the mink hat my husband gave me for Christmas, my head looks like a button mushroom.
• I love the phrase “coming in hot” but don’t have anywhere to use it.
• My beloved Thunderbird may be near death but I feel like I’ve already jettisoned it , it’s so before.
• When my kids are standing in my kitchen again, there will be silence while we text each other.
• The phrase “It’s going to get worse before it gets better” should only be used once per crisis.
• I try to pet both dogs equally, but one loves being petted and the other tolerates it because he loves me.
• I’ve come to detest people who don’t wear masks, no, loathe. I loathe people who don’t wear masks.
• Hiring someone to shovel our snow feels like a step just short of moving into a retirement village.
• The flannel lined jeans I bought make me feel like a sweaty toddler on the way to day care.
• Milton, the rabbit, has been gone for two days. He left no tracks and we would know because there’s snow.

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Photo credit: Photo by Meghan Holmes on Unsplash