Happiness. It's relative.
At the Farm and Fleet pick-up, the delivery guy came barreling toward our truck with his mask hanging like a white goatee below his nose and mouth. He started to speak and I powered my window up. Anticipating his question, I slammed my driver’s license against the glass. He nodded and went inside, coming out minutes later with a couple of pages of paper which he slammed on his side of the window. Yes, I nodded. That’s me. Six bags of garden soil and three bags of bird seed. And a bird seed scoop, that was the deluxe portion of the order.
He loaded up the back of the truck, we thanked him and drove off.
It felt like a dance with death to me.
It is going to take some doing to become anything resembling a normal person after this.
This may be temporary but it’s psychologically damaging, I think. It has become my reflex to shun human interaction unless it’s the guy I live with or people on Zoom.
This morning, I stood on the lawn talking to one of my sons in the driveway. He’d walked over from his apartment a couple of miles away. He was wearing a red bandana to humor me since he believes he has already had Covid-19. But the bandana bothered him because it kept coming untied and then it was too tight. And plus the it covered his mouth which meant I couldn’t sort out his low, burry voice by reading his lips. So the conversation went in a lot of different directions – eclectic, I would call it, with me responding to questions he probably hadn’t asked, that sort of thing. After a good while, he took the bandana off and shoved it in his pocket. When he did, I backed up from my 10′ away to maybe 15′ until I was practically in the neighbor’s yard trying to compare notes on our respective mental health during this quarantine business.
I used to hug him to say goodbye. When will that ever happen again? I can’t even envision it.
I’m so glad it isn’t just me. Everyone says the birds, raccoons, squirrels, and flying squirrels are going to eat us into bankruptcy. I buy the food anyway. They have become part of the family. Our son moved home for the quarantine and because we really needed help. Boy did we ever!