Red's Wrap
Happiness. It's relative.
The C-Word
My bet is that Samantha Bee was searching in her head for the worst thing she could possibly call Ivanka Trump, rifling through her brain for the basest, crudest label, casting about for the word she would never use and had never used about any other person. That’s how much she wanted to show her hatred of Trump.
Because if you are a woman and you use the word cunt to refer to another woman, it’s not commentary or humor anymore. It’s hatred.
A man calls a woman a cunt because it is the fastest, cheapest way to put her in her place. And what is her place? On her back with a pillow over her face. Sorry, gentle readers, but cunt is a rape word. Cunt reduces women to their vaginas – everything they think, say, feel, advocate gets distilled into one physical place that becomes property. Whose property? You are really asking?
So I have these observations about Samantha Bee using the word cunt in reference to Ivanka Trump. She played all her cards for the thrill of saying the word one single time. She gave up the scalpel for a hammer and now there’s no fine cutting in her future. She revealed herself as someone who does not have a fundamental solidarity with other women. She will, in fact, go there, so if you are a woman around Samantha Bee, you aren’t safe if she gets real mad. She has lost something with me but I’m not quite sure what it is; I have a lot less regard for her than I did. A lot less.
All words aren’t created equal. All profanity not interchangeable. A man can be called a dick but it’s not equivalent to a woman being called a cunt although one would think it should be. It’s not. A man who’s a dick is a jerk, an extreme jerk even, but he is also other things. There is no pillow over his face.
In the end, it’s not just the word that is said, it’s who says it. I want women to have some sort of shared bottom line that holds even through intense disagreement and vehement hatred. No matter how angry we become at each other, we aren’t going to use a term that men have used for centuries to put us in our place. We need to keep this tiny thread of sisterhood.
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Photo by Nikhil Mitra on Unsplash
9 Comments on “The C-Word”
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Snow Door | wisconsinacademy.org
Listen to Jan read her essay “Billy” presented on WUWM’s Lake Effect
Jan’s essay “At the Breakfast Bar” on WUWM Lake Effect
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“Fury Cannot Touch Me,” Modern Love, NYT, 9/29/11
Agreed. Btw, way back when discussing the words that are used to humiliate women and I asked several male friends what cuss word bothered men as much. Not much as it turns out, at least for my generation, the over-fifty crowd. The only one they could think of was asshole.
I can think of a couple of others….lol. But asshole – it’s kind of a gender-less insult so that works.
Asshole is a word I only use in traffic when someone is being a total jerk. Nothing else quite takes its place, even if the person it is directed toward never hears it.
Samantha’s use of the word has cost Progressives the high ground. That pisses me off more than anything. I, too, hate the word, but it’s become more common for younger women to use it. I listened all morning to a radio call in show where the host asked for only women to weigh in on the c word. Women under 30 seemed to think it was no big deal, while older women felt like we do.
Yeah. I just don’t think we get anywhere if we are as crude and crass as the opposition. There is something to taking the high road – I think it works although sometimes it’s a really long road.
This is the piece I wanted to write.
“She has lost something with me but I’m not quite sure what it is; I have less regard for her than I did.” That is what I’ve been thinking for two days. Samantha Bees’s generation isn’t fazed by this word. It’s common in Europe and Australia, but I’m with you. It’s something more, something terrifyingly demeaning.
Thank you, Jan, for clarifying it.
Another instance where it never occurred to me that there would be a generational difference in perception but, of course! why wouldn’t there be? In my bubble.
Amen, Jan. I’ve always hated this word but never sat with it to figure it out but you said it clear and straight – it’s a rape word.
Yeah – it is to me anyway although I’ve been informed that it’s not so much for younger women. Interesting.