Minnie and BowWow Discuss Cosmopolitanism

BowWow:  Jesus H. Did you see that speech? The guy is fucking nuts.

Minnie: That’s the President of the United States, BowWow. Have some respect.

BowWow: Imposible, mi amiga. He is el wacko grande. Loco, as they say, south of the border.

Minnie: When did you start speaking Spanish?

BowWow: I’m a dog of the world, Minnie. Very cosmopolitan.

Minnie: Well, be careful, you don’t want those awful dog whistle people to come after you.

BowWow: Come again?

Minnie: You know. The terrible anti-Jewish people.

BowWow: You think I’m a Jewish dog? You calling me a Jewish dog? Well, fuck that noise! I’m no Jewish dog.

Minnie: Why would that be bad? The people are Jewish. Well, one of them is. The other one is sort of but not actually.

BowWow: Me, I’m a Methodist dog.

Minnie: Oh good Lord.

BowWow: Exactly.

Minnie: What makes you a Methodist dog?

BowWow: I like pie.

Minnie: I’m sure there’s more to being a Methodist than liking pie but never mind. Why didn’t you like the President’s speech?

BowWow: He does that thing with his right hand all the time, the circle thing with the fingers. It’s fucking annoying. It makes me want to pee on his leg.

Minnie: It’s not very cosmopolitan to pee on someone’s leg, BowWow. It’s crude.

BowWow: It sends a message, Minnie. And the message stays there a looooooong time. If people had lifted a leg when they had the chance, we wouldn’t be listening to this moron on national fucking TV all the time saying his scrambled eggs, ass backwards bullshit.

Minnie: You’re probably right. But that was then and this is now.