A Row of Twenty Trumpets

Keys restaurant

What one thing am I good at? Why stop at one thing? I can think of twenty things I’m good at.

I’m good at…

  1. Writing things fast.
  2. Making decisions with lifelong consequences in minutes.
  3. Convincing people to drive down dirt roads.
  4. Signing up for events and classes I never attend.
  5. Imagining myself as an extremely tall person.
  6. Pretending to hear people.
  7. Cooking things with Campbell’s soup.
  8. Mentoring younger colleagues.
  9. Knowing what I think.
  10. Being loyal to deserving pieces of clothing.
  11. Driving my convertible at 70 mph on the freeway past semi-trucks.
  12. Knowing how to be stupid without being ignorant.
  13. Keeping my rage at white men’s supremacy in the United States under control.
  14. Encouraging other people to buy expensive things that will make them happy.
  15. Going back to the same places to see the light I loved the first time.
  16. Finding reasons to leave things early.
  17. Being alone and on foot in the city.
  18. Clearing dead plants and leaves from last year’s garden.
  19. Avoiding false modesty.
  20. Officiating funerals, well, a funeral, one funeral.

To those who can’t find something to brag about, I say this. Look harder. No one benefits from your self-deprecation, it’s boring and depressing. It’s a grey sweater with grey pants.  I’m impatient with self-deprecation, the shy batting of eyes, the looking at one’s shoes, it makes me want to move down the buffet line to the cranberry Jello.


Written in response to The Daily Post prompt: Toot Your Horn: Most of us are excellent at being self-deprecating, and are not so good at the opposite. Tells us your favorite thing about yourself.


8 Comments on “A Row of Twenty Trumpets

  1. Many of these are excellent life skills. I can do a political fund raiser, see the candidate, work the room, leave my check, eat a carrot stick and be in the car within 15 minutes. Easy!

  2. i absolutely love this, and can identify with so many of them, especially your #2. if we can’t toot our own horns, who else will after all?

  3. Fun post. My daughter thinks that false modesty is as sinful as arrogance. I find both a bore. There are a lot of things I am good at – what I want to be better at is patience with people who are being stupid and won’t listen or think their way out. Maybe I don’t – avoidance works well. One of the things I like about myself is that I know myself really well and am honest about who I am. I am someone who can’t tolerate stupidity.

  4. And you’re good at making those of us who didn’t evade the issue by being hilarious feel guilty for not blowing our own horns!!! But I for one forgive you. We all really do know what we’re good at and it isn’t false modesty that keeps us from declaring our own charms. It’s just that we lack the skill in coming up with endearing boasts!!! Another excellent post.

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