Ten Things I’m Sick Of

The list took some culling but these are the items that floated to the top of the detritus of my miserable, self-pitying existence today.

  1. I am sick of eating soda crackers. Related to this and not deserving of its own place on the list, I am sick of feeling nauseous. I think the soda cracker cure is bogus, dreamt up by cheapskates who didn’t want to give pregnant women with morning sickness chocolate or cavier. Who invented soda crackers and for what true purpose? Mortar.
  2. I am sick of closed captioning always spelling Aaron Rodgers’ name Erin Rogers, morphing him somehow from the NFL’s MVP to the girl singing the solo at the Christmas pageant.
  3. Related to football, I am sick of professional athletes with ridiculously long hair. It’s annoying and sometimes you can’t see their names on the back of their jerseys. And then there’s the tossing, which I really can’t stand.
  4. I am sick of reading and re-reading the surgeon’s aftercare instructions like it’s the Rosetta Stone and I will miss doing or not doing the one thing that will kill me for sure unless I study every word in every line.
  5. I am sick of sleeping sitting up. Or not sleeping sitting up, as it were.
  6. I am sick of looking out the window from my bed like I’m the dying girl in the O.Henry story where the husband paints a leaf on the building outside so she doesn’t die. There’s more to it than that but not really.
  7. I am sick of complaining and I may be sick of this list.
  8. I am sick of NaBloPoMo and Yeah Write’s No Mo. When you get to the back of the closet where you keep your crummy lists in order to not miss a day, you know you’re on borrowed time. I’m not quitting though and you can’t make me. I want one of those cups.
  9. I am sick of wearing pajamas and wish I had a proper muumuu.
  10. I am sick to death of my sick, decrepit, self-absorbed self and hope the Body Snatchers come tonight and take me to the dump just outside of town and tomorrow I can start over as an actual functioning human being.

That’s it. That’s my list of ten things I’m sick of. It’s better than one of those sickening gratitude lists, isn’t it?  Seriously. I’m really sick of those.



13 Comments on “Ten Things I’m Sick Of

    • It’s finally gone today. Along with the crackers. Have you done this Phenergan pickle juice thing? You have. I know it.

      • Phenergan is great for nausea and sleep. I ask for it for any procedure involving anesthesia where Versed and fentanyl are given. One of them or the combination of both makes me sick. Also took it during chemo.

        The dill pickle juice trick is one the nutritionist at MD Anderson gave me before I started treatment. She said a little sip of dill pickle juice was good for some mild nausea.

        Never tried the two together. Now I realize my comment read like I was suggesting a combination of the two. I meant either one was good for nausea. Damn English language. I’ll never get the hang of it.

  1. Don’t you hate the blather out of mouths that want everyone to see the silver lining? I went to a psychologist when I needed to talk through my grief over living with fibromyalgia. She kept asking what the positive was and I kept telling her I couldn’t see any. I have grieved, have a really good life, but not one second of it is because of fibromyalgia. Some parts of life just plan suck.
    So good to see you being feisty and ornery about where you are right now. That third day after major surgery is a bitch!

    • You’re right about the gratitude lists and the third day. As you are about so many things….I keep missing your posts and your beautiful photos. Going to go hunting now to catch up.

      • I have been in a dry spot – not feeling well because of a low grade infection. I have so much to say but can’t get my brain to organize. Writing is not an easy process – as you well know. Maybe I can use your convalescence as a motivator to get me writing. But I won’t go so far as to say that this is a positive outcome of your surgery. LOL

  2. Oh I’m so sorry you feel horrible but that was hilarious! I’m sure my husband thinks I’ve lost my mind laughing so hard over your misfortune. Damn you’re funny!

    • OK – well, you know that your comment totally made my day, right? Thanks! And I feel a lot better today. Thank God. I’m such a wus.

  3. Agreed. I prefer a good cranky list (like yours) to a syrupy gratitude list which truly are sickening. But I have to disagree about soda crackers – I love ’em!

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