Blogosfear

Blogosfear: Fear of being talked about or becoming a character in someone’s blog as in “When he talked to his friend, he was overwhelmed with blogosfear thinking their conversation would be published the next day in her very popular blog.”

Blogosfear was the March 23, 2013 Urban Word of the Day in the Urban Dictionary put there by yours truly. The Urban Dictionary shows 3,998 thumbs up and 4,866 thumbs down which baffles me because I’m thinking ‘what’s not to like?’ The word came to me after a meeting with a colleague who said just what is quoted in the definition. He was teasing, but not really, since he had already been featured in a blog post about fashion. I told him not to worry so much.

I have published essays on my blog, Red’s Wrap, for nearly three years. This will make the 162nd post. Most of my stories have to do in some way with the people I know, my family members, my friends. I’ve written pieces with names changed; a while ago, I wrote a little fairy tale featuring a T-Rex, a woodchuck, and a wildebeest and practically everyone in town knew exactly who I was talking about. I’ve written about old boyfriends, my dear departed parents, and crummy things that have happened to me that involve other people. Sometimes I’ve come way too close to the line. One post about two of my kids brought quick, electric criticism from one of their siblings – a furious text message sent me back to reword the essay.

Memoir, even what is called confessional writing, has to have boundaries that protect the privacy of other people no matter how meaty the story might be or, and this is really important to a blogger, how many hits the blog post will generate. I took great exception to Liza Long’s widely-read piece “I am Adam Lanza’s Mother” for that very reason. In Ms. Long’s essay, she described her 13-year old son’s mental health problems and their difficult relationship; she predicted that he could be a mass murderer like Adam Lanza. Her essay quickly went viral and she was on all the morning talk shows. I thought it was awful – awful for her son, awful for every teenager who’s lost, angry and messed up, and inflammatory in the extreme. I think Ms. Long used her son’s story to ride the crest of national concern after the Newtown school massacre. Quick way to get famous.

If you’re a blogger, the temptation to use the travail of others when you don’t have enough of your own can be overwhelming. It’s addictive – getting the big bump of readers – going from a couple of dozen to several thousand. It’s only happened to me a few times but believe, it’s blogger crack. You get it. You want more of it. Right away. And you have to resist the urge to tear off your clothes and do anything the blogosphere wants to get your next fix.

I’m too old to be a blogging whore – I just want to be a good writer that people want to read. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.