On Facebook today, Adoption Resources of Wisconsin posted a link to a young couple’s adoption recruitment site. So I clicked on it, looked at their happy pictures and their essays about what good parents they’d be. They had an 800 number for pregnant women to call. They were advertising themselves basically.
I looked at their info and I wondered how long and hard they must have thought about how to look like they’d be great parents. They’d want to look happy, for sure. And financially secure. With a decent house. Fun-lovers. With a dog. I thought they looked nice. I could see them being my parents or my kids’ parents. They looked like a couple already checking out summer camps and breaking in their mini-van.
I can’t even fathom the amount of acting and stagecraft that would have had to go into our “ad.” We were mismatched as a couple, impulsive, and constantly contradicting each other. We couldn’t have been more different – in looks, values, backgrounds, the food we liked, our accents. Everything about us was enough off to be worrisome to someone looking for a good home for their baby. We had unstable and temporary written all over our foreheads and down the front of our shirts.
Nobody would have picked us.
When we had our home studies, we felt about as exposed as people can feel. Everything about our lives was fair game for questions. The biggest challenge, though, was just keeping a lid on ourselves – to not let the social worker get a full glimpse of the disarray. But these folks — with their beautiful photos and their website and the 800 number — they’ve put themselves right out there.
I really hope somebody picks them.