Red's Wrap
Happiness. It's relative.
The Cousins
These are my kids’ cousins. Their parents are my in-laws. Not really. But it sure seems that way. Of all the things that we maybe did not so well as adoptive parents, we did one thing really right. Our community – the bunch of families who adopted kids from Rolando Carazo orphanage in Managua, Nicaragua, has stuck together….well, pretty much….we’ve lost some and sadly, because it’s often the families in the most hurt that disappear.
Every year, for the past 24 years, our family has hosted a 3 Kings celebration. And the Nicas come. Sometimes a lot, sometimes not so many. Everyone pretty much brings the same dishes to the potluck, we drink the same drinks, and we have a procession of kids down the stairs to the singing of We Three Kings. When they get downstairs, their shoes are filled with chococate and toy cars and whatever else is on after-Christmas sale. The kids love it — first our own kids and now our kids’ kids — and the night ends with tamale wrappers everywhere, kids racing through the kitchen, adults huddled in corners, and a million hugs – some so badly needed that we drive miles to get them.
I love my kids’ cousins. I am astonished that they are grown – that the babies that were adopted so long ago and lined up on a couch for picture-taking are now adults with beards and jobs and kids. I love it that these kids connect to each other, that they want their own kids to connect, and that they are loyal to our tradition of 3 Kings. I love it that my son, Nelson, can celebrate his birthday with his ‘cousin’ Moises.
And I love how beautiful Ligia, Addie, Becca, and Jhosy are.
And I love how there is a new generation of kids coming down the stairs, singing We Three Kings and looking for cool stuff in their shoes.
We all struggle and fuss our way through the year. The adoptive parents and the adopted kids. None of this is particularly easy.
But it is joyful – at least part of the time. Thank God.
7 Comments on “The Cousins”
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Snow Door | wisconsinacademy.org
Listen to Jan read her essay “Billy” presented on WUWM’s Lake Effect
Jan’s essay “At the Breakfast Bar” on WUWM Lake Effect
Jan’s essay “The Parish Hall,” on WUWM Lake Effect
“Fury Cannot Touch Me,” Modern Love, NYT, 9/29/11
Hi. I also found your blog by searching Nicaragua and adoption. I live in Texas but actually grew up in Milwaukee. My son was adopted from Nicaragua and lived at Rolando Carazo (although it was Divino Nino when he lived there). He is now 5 1/2 and we have been home for just over two years. I have really enjoyed reading yoru posts and the photos.
Wow! I am so happy that you found me. That’s amazing. I would love hearing more about your son. If you don’t mind sharing, email me at jwilberg2000@yahoo.com. Your son has a lot of ‘cousins’ up here in Milwaukee. 🙂
I also loved reading your blog….last year we adopted 2 children, brother and sister out of Rolando Carazo. I wish the process was easier for others to bring children home, but it is exciting to here of others who have completed the process. Thanks for putting your blog up!! I would love to connect with families who have adopted out of this orphanage…you never know what can come of it!! Susan
We have a group of people who adopted in the 80’s. Kirsten and her son met many of them at a picnic in Milwaukee last summer. We have a 3 Kings celebration every year — now we’re grandparents and our Nica kids are parents. It’s a trip. So happy to hear of your adoption. Hope your kids are doing well.
Hey,
Thanks so much for writing back. Let me give you my email address so that I can fill you in on the details that way for protection, etc. michellemgibson@gmail.com
We live in Florida so we are pretty far from you but would love to touch base and tell you where we are. I also have our blog that has passwords that I can give you by email so that you can read our story.
Michelle
Hi Jan
I found your blog by searching Nicaragua and adoption. I have loved reading your posts and really have enjoyed seeing your beautiful family. We are in the process of adopting from Nicaragua and would love to get your insights, etc. It is hard to find people who have or are adopting from this Country. Just got a new wordpress blog as well that you can click on if you would like to get in touch. Thanks so much!
Michelle
Wow! You’re adopting from Nicaragua?! That’s wonderful. Tell me all about it! Where, when, who? That’s so wonderful. Are you in the Milwaukee area?