Not Today

Here’s the thing that kills you about alcoholism – it’s untrustworthy. The sun can be all shiny one day and be in eclipse the next. There is no way of knowing. It makes planning ahead an extreme bitch.

If you have even five minutes of forgetting about it, of feeling carefree and happy, you need to put those minutes in your purse, zip the zipper, and put the purse on the highest shelf in your closet and cover it with sweaters so you can keep those five minutes alive somehow. But, even doing that, you know they will disappear. Nothing can last, zipped up like that.

You have to let go. Of the good and the bad. It isn’t easy.